T'was the night before closing

‘Twas the night before closing, when all thru the land,
Title companies were stirring, saying “Give me a hand”;
The appraisers were packed up at the Elks Lodge with care,
Signing Services were calling but no one was there.

Seems the notaries were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of interest rates danced in their heads,
With the Fed in their offices, saying “Rates are too low”,
And we all stop and wonder, “How high can they go?!”

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Notaries sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw out the trash.

When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a van full of lenders with a twelve pack of beer.
And the notaries in their homes wondered, “Why are they here?”
There’s no loans to sign, man, the cupboard is bare.

With disclosures and notes, and a first trust deed, too,
There is just one last loan, need a notary - but who?
Well, more rapid than eagles, the notaries they came,
They whistled and shouted and called out their names:

“I’m Gina, I’m Bobby, I’m Lisa, I’m Steve!!!
Give ME this last signing." they called out with glee
You can pay me in 30 or 60 or whenever
I’ll even go to their house in bad weather.”

So off to their cell phones the notaries they flew,
With hopes of a signing and a GNW or two
And then, in a twinkling, you could hear up the street
The scratching and clawing and tromping of feet.

As the notaries drew in their heads, and were turning around,
In front of the lenders, Super Agent came with a bound:
He was all bundled up, wearing a stocking cap, too
Had his briefcase and scanner and a brandy flask, too.

He went right to the lenders and grabbed up the job
Whilst the rest of the notaries, they just sat down and sobbed.
He worked out his fee, they’ll pay him a hundy
Sign and FedEx today, for delivery by Monday

Affidavits were signed quickly, the note and deed, too,
And then the Right of Rescission, he’s now almost through
All the disclosures, he went through them quite fast
And the Certificate of Trust, well, he saved that for last

The other notaries together, they decided to leave
With nothing to do now on this cold Christmas Eve
See, this was the only signing they’d seen for a week,
With Super Agent around, the future looks bleak

But, let’s not lose faith, things will soon turn around
And Super Agent will wither when RON comes to town
And Doc-U-Sign and I-PEN and competition increase
Happy Christmas to all…
and a season of Peace.


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