So, if you didn’t know, Nashville got it’s first major snow this past Thursday… and it was bad. On New Year’s night it was ~70 degrees, Thursday would be 3 inches of snow ~30 degrees, and Friday was slated to be 9 degrees. Nine. I was upset because I had a bunch of direct signings slated for Friday and I was determined to complete them.
Thursday came and was just as intense as predicted. Tons of wrecks, tons of snow falling heavily and blanketing this little town (it’s a town to me, being from the Bay Area at least…). Schools were closed, people stopped working, and everyone was at peace… except for me because I don’t get paid to sit on my ass 
. So, picture me smoking a cigar on my snowy balcony and sipping wine with furrowed brow and nervous anticipation, waiting to see if Friday would make me or break me.
$1000 was on the line this Friday! Well, $947 to be exact 
But $1000 sounds much more dramatic!
I woke up to 9 degree weather at 7ish AM but luckily no heavy snowfall. My first of 6 appointments that day was at 8am. I ran out to check on my sweet baby boy to find this…
(Ares, my son)
First Signing: $180
SPEAK TO ME SON!! He was silent… but he’s always silent, so I took it as a good omen. Unfortunately, coming from California, I was completely unprepared to deal with this and my car was useless on ice. There was no way to clean him off and get to the signing on time. I spoke to the signers and luckily they had a giant truck with 4 wheel drive (classic southerners lol)! They even offered to drive to me instead. Phew! 
We met in my conference room and signed all 22 pages of their Seller’s Package and then I told them I’d scan the docs and drop them to FedEx as soon as I could. To my surprise, they offered to drop the docs off for me.
We want to make sure they get there. Can you even drive?
Me: Well… umm… hehe…
I assured them that I would figure it out, but they insisted and I’m not really one to look a gift horse in the mouth. So, I ran upstairs, scanned the docs to title, and ran back downstairs, handed the docs to the signers and off they went. Easy peasy.
Second Signing: $175
Next, I ran out to my car and started spastically trying to remove the heaps of snow. My hands were freezing. I needed a tool… Some kind of tool for moving snow… Hmm. I checked my trunk. There was a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka my mom gave me for Christmas. That wouldn’t work. Next, there was a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin my aunt gave me for Christmas. No!! Why is all this stuff still in here?! Focus… Aha! A stack of UPS folders for sending docs. I took about 7 and started using them as a shovel all over my car. It was a mess, but it worked! I let the car heat up and off we went.
The signer had warned that the roads in his neighborhood were bad, but I was determined to get paid lol. The highway roads were partly cleared and I made it safely by driving 45 miles an hour on a 70. But, once I got into his neighborhood I noticed none of the roads had been cleared and, instead, were covered with a thick layer of solid ice . I took a breath and kept my foot on the gas. Eventually, about 5 blocks from his house, I came upon a hill. All was well at first, until halfway when my car started sliding… backwards (and sideways). It wouldn’t go up no matter what. I didn’t have any idea what I was doing, turning the wheel left, right, screaming at my car (poor Ares, daddy’s sorry).
It wasn’t working… So, instead I backed up down the hill and parked in a snowy ditch, popped the big brake, and decided to huff it. Imagine me, in a full suit, wool overcoat, and leather Chelsea boots, briefcase in hand, shades on, ankle deep in snow on the side of the road. I would never work this hard for someone else… but if it’s my name/business on the line, nothing was really going to stop me. I walked the 5 blocks to his stately home, signed the docs, and went back. Ares was still there, to my surprise (I thought he was going to roll all the way down the hill lol…). Unfortunately, I still couldn’t go forward. So, the only way to my next appointment was backward. I drove backwards for 15 blocks on solid ice until I got to an intersection and could finally turn my car around and drive like a proper citizen. Made it! Phew… Next! 
Third Signing: $150
This one was easier because I stuck to the highway more. However, on my left and right throughout the drive I saw car after car after car stranded in the snow. Some were in ditches and some were still in the street. The storm had been really bad. Cars were damaged, tires were missing, and my stomach was turning! I wasn’t even halfway done yet… Hopefully that wouldn’t be me. I got to the married couple’s home and they were pleasant. The husband didn’t listen to any of my directions and kept writing the date even though it didn’t say date. 
But, everything worked out in the end. After leaving their house, I realized I hadn’t eaten and headed home for a bite… 
Fourth Signing: $175
I called my fourth signer to see what the conditions were like. He wasn’t too confident and wondered if we should cancel. NOT ON MY WATCH WE AREN’T! 
I told him we should at least try (seeing as how I was doing all the life risking stunts while he was sitting in his warm home…). He mentioned that to get to his home you had to go down a giant, icy hill of which I would never hope to return (his words, not mine). Great. I decided to get as close to the hill as possible and walk the rest of the way. I did it before, what could go wrong…?
I get to the street parallel to his and screech to a halt. The icy hill was more like a roller coaster drop from the highest point straight into hell. It was basically vertical. I pulled off to the side and parked in the snow. If I had tried to drive down that, my boy Ares would slide all the way down to Georgia I was sure. Meanwhile, the community was using the theme park level death drop as… well, a theme park level death drop. They were sledding, skating, and snowboarding down this thing doing all kinds of tricks (in the middle of the street). Remember that plan to casually walk on an even horizontal plane to the signer’s house? Yeah… sigh
I stood at the top, contemplating going back to grad school. Suddenly, a little bra- I mean sweet child told me the only way down was to skate, with a mischievous grin 
. All around me everyone was having fun and I was the very serious “businessman” as he called me. I said, why not 
. I stuck to the side of the road, braced myself, and slowly (gracefully, I might add) slid down the doom slope. I weebled and wobbled but I never fell (thank god!). I was met with cheers and applause at the bottom 
and I almost went back to do it again but I remembered I was working and had an appointment to get to!
So, I ran to the signer’s house who was waiting for me at the door.
I can’t believe you actually came and that you made it! That’s impressive.
Me: …
Shall we get started?
I finished the signing, found another street to trek back up to my car, and then sped off to my next appointment. So tired… 
Fifth Signing: $67
This signing was a general notary who had reached out to me. By this time I was a pro at driving around on these icy roads. I could spot the traps and avoid them more easily. I parked in front of this guy’s house and went in. He had a talking parrot which sang to us as we signed lol 
. It was a nice pit stop, but before I knew it I was waving good bye and back on the road. My final signing was next. My body was giving out, my car was filthy (just disgusting), but my resolve was high. What a lucrative day 
hehe!
Sixth Signing: $200!
By now it was starting to get dark. Of course, this guy’s house was waaaay out in the boonies, very much west of Nashville in a place called Fairview that I had never been. His wife had just literally given birth the day before and this was the third time he had rescheduled this week. I wanted to make this signing happen for him as I knew he was stressed as a new father. But, also, the moneeyyy! It was a direct signing where the title company just found my business and called me out of the blue. A simple refi with scans. The signer said he lived deep in the woods and that my beautiful, but impractical car would never make it (sorry Ares it’s true, beauty can’t solve all our problems. I’ve tried it 
).
He suggested that I park at this random gas station where he would pick me up and drive me to his secluded house, deep in the forest away from any human civilization or contact… Where no-one at all could hear me scream… Ok, he didn’t say that last part but he might as well have. 
If I were a female, I might have turned away, but I’ve been taking kickboxing classes for 2 months straight! I’ll be fine, I told myself. But, I texted my mom my location just in case 
“Call the police if you don’t hear from me in an hour!”
Okay, now that all my bases were covered, all I had to do was wait at the dark, deserted gas station in the middle of nowhere for this stranger to pick me up. Super. 10 minutes later he pulls up to the side of my car, wearing a mask. All I could see were his blue eyes, but they seemed kind enough. I grabbed my briefcase and away we went. The road he took was gleaming with ice and twisted and turned like a snake. I would’ve never made it on my own. He had said he only lived 5 minutes away, but it felt like 30 minutes to get there. We were in the WOODS woods (forbidden forest vibe). Like, deer and coyotes were running all around and the only lights were from his headlamps.
Finally, we got to this house. He turned out to be a great guy. We had a bonding moment in the car. His wife, newborn, and in laws greeted us when we got there, along with his dog and his horses (soooo country lol) 
. Finished the signing, he paid me directly after (signing services take note), and he drove me back to my car. We shook hands and away I went! I made it! Well, now I had to get home in the dark… Ugh. I willed by body to get home. I had a whole bottle of grey goose in my trunk to look forward to celebrating with, after all! 
Total for the day (from 8am to 6pm)! $947!
Ares, the next day… What did they do to you!!!
Ares, back to his beautiful self 
Couldn’t do this without you, my boy!
