‘Twas the night before closing, when all thru the land,
Title companies were stirring, saying “Give me a hand”;
The appraisers were packed up at the Elks Lodge with care,
Signing Services were calling but no one was there.
Seems the borrowers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of refinances danced in their heads,
And Escrow in their offices, getting ready to wrap,
The lenders were worn out and needed a nap.
When out on the borrower’s lawn there arose such a clatter,
Signers sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw out the trash.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a van full of notaries with a twelve pack of beer.
And those folks in their homes were so glad they were there
Getting ready to sign, just pull up a chair.
With papers and pens, and a signing board, too,
Let’s get on with this signing, we’ve got so many to do.
More rapid than eagles, the notaries they came,
Title whistled and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now! Tommy and Lisa, and Bobby and Steve
No night off for you all, not even Christmas Eve.
“Get up to that house! Get to signing on time!
Y’all really know that this poem must rhyme!
So out to their cars the notaries they flew,
With all of their packages and briefcases too!
And then in a twinkling, you could hear up the street
The scratching and pawing and tripping of feet.
As the borrowers drew in their heads, and were turning around,
At the front door, the Agent came with a bound:
He was dressed in a leisure suit, wearing aviator shades,
And the papers he carried, 5 pounds they did weigh.
He knocked on the door, business card at the ready,
And he stepped just inside, trying hard to stand steady
You see, his hair was a mess, his eyes – oh how bleak!
The last glass that he had, it wasn’t that weak;
But his droll little mouth, it held a wry smile,
He’ll get through this next signing, it’ll just take a while;
The cap of his pen, he held tight in his teeth
The signing table with papers, in the shape of a wreath.
He knew he was ready,
Because he’d prepared very well
He got their IDs, they were current, he could tell
The CD was signed quickly, the note and deed, too,
And then the Right of Rescission, we’re now almost through
All the disclosures, he went through them quite fast
And the Certificate of Trust, well, he saved that for last
The signers spoke not a word but got on with the signing
And our notary friend, inside he was whining
See, now he’s gotta go home, and scan all those docs,
Title is anxious to close, they’ve been watching the clock
So, let’s raise up a cheer, and give the notary a shout
For dates and the sigs and initials no doubt
Hard as he tries, he’s truly a champ
Except for this time, he forgot the dang stamp!
Merry Christmas, Everybody!
