‘Twas the night before closing, when all thru the land,
Title companies were stirring, saying “Give me a hand”;
The appraisers were packed up at the Elks Lodge with care,
Signing Services were calling but no one was there.
Seems the notaries were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of signing orders danced in their heads,
And the Fed is still wondering if rates are too high,
They’re going 50 basis points lower, I ain’t gonna lie.
Now out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
Notaries sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to their windows they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw out the trash.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a van full of lenders with a twelve pack of beer.
And title and escrow, they’re all coming, too,
Lotsa deals to be signed and it’s all here for you.
Tons of HELOCs and Refi’s and sellers and buyers
And creative financing, we’re bound to get hired.
More rapid than eagles, the notaries they came,
They whistled and shouted and called out their names:
“I’m Gina, I’m Bobby, I’m Lisa, I’m Steve!!!
Give *ME* all your signings" they called out with glee
You can pay me in 30 or 60 or whenever
I’ll go to their house even if in bad weather.”
So off with their cell phones the notaries they flew,
With hopes of a signing and a GNW or two
And then, in a twinkling, you could hear up the street
The scratching and clawing and tromping of feet.
As the notaries lifted their heads, and were turning around,
In front of the lenders, **Super Notary** came with a bound.
He was all bundled up, wearing a stocking cap, new
Had his briefcase and scanner, and a brandy flask, too.
He went straight to his work and grabbed up those jobs
Whilst the rest of the notaries, they just sat down and sobbed.
He worked out his fee, they’ll pay him a hundy
Sign and FedEx today, for delivery by Monday
Affidavits signed quickly, the note and deed, too,
And then the Patriot Act form, he’s now almost through
All the disclosures, he went through them quite fast
And the Certificate of Trust, well, he saved that for last
The other notaries together, they decided to leave
With nothing to do now on this cold Christmas Eve
See, these were the only signings they’d seen for a week,
With Super Agent around, the future looks bleak
Wait! What’s this? Super Agent is done?
Y’mean the rest of us notaries can now have some fun?!
You see, he messed up the dates on the Right of Recission
Too much brandy tonite, kinda screwed up his vision
Y’all, get ready for signings
now that his orders decreased,
And, Happy Christmas to all…
and a season of Peace.
May the Light of our Savior shine brightly
upon you and yours this Christmas
Your Colleague,
Notary Bob
