(Spoiler: Neither is winning any awards.)
“Go direct!” they say — imagine me yelling this in my best Bruce Willis Die Hard voice. Supposedly, accepting closings from Directs means you’ll never have to chase payment. Especially if it’s a title company. Sounds dreamy, right?
But let’s pump the brakes. Is that actually true? Or is it just another bedtime story notaries tell themselves so they can sleep at night?
Here’s my reality check: I bought into the hype. I thought direct assignments were the golden ticket. No middleman, no nonsense, just smooth sailing. And yet… here I am, chasing a title company for payment like it’s the last bus of the night. Déjà vu, anyone? Because this feels exactly like chasing those slow‑pay signing services we all love to hate.
So let me make this public service announcement loud and clear: Notaries are not bottom feeders. We’re not beggars. We’re professionals who flawlessly execute loan documents while juggling FedEx deadlines and cranky signers. Directs call us because they need us. We agree on a price, we agree on a schedule, and then — poof! — the money vanishes into the Bermuda Triangle of “Accounts Payable.”
Cue the industry playbook:
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“The check is in the mail.”
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“We don’t use tracking numbers.”
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“We don’t do e‑checks, PayPal, Venmo, or anything invented after 1995.”
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“If the post office lost it, that’s not our fault.”
Oh really? So, whose fault is it? Mine? Should I start camping out at the post office with binoculars and a metal detector?
The audacity is breathtaking. You call to follow up, and suddenly you’re the problem. Meanwhile, they’re blissfully unaware that you’re pulling your hair out waiting for a check that never arrives.
And now, the pièce de résistance: the “reissued” check. Supposedly sent via 2‑day priority with tracking. Except the tracking says, “label created” and nothing else. Translation: the post office has never even touched this mythical check.
So stay tuned, folks. Will the check arrive in two days? Will it arrive at all? Or will it join the growing graveyard of “checks in the mail” that never made it past the printer? Place your bets. ![]()
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